Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Mitt Romney Edges Honey Boo-Boo To Top 2012 Carnie Awards.

     In a powerful indicator of his presidential prospects, Mitt Romney narrowly bested 8-year-old reality show phenom Honey Boo-Boo to win the 8th annual Carnie Awards honoring the nation’s leading carnival-style hucksters, side show acts and con artists.
     “Eight-year-old Honey Boo-Boo was the overwhelming favorite going into this year’s contest. But an aggressive Mitt Romney staged a late surge to shove the diminutive cutie from the spotlight,” said Peter Fenton, who chaired the selection committee of current and former carnies.
     “Honey Boo-Boo is a pint-size P.T. Barnum who outraged America with her low-brow antics on the TLC reality show, Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo. Aided by her nose pickin’, gas-emitting family, Honey parlayed the controversy into Hollywood gold. When last seen, Honey was slurping spaghetti in an exclusive Beverly Hills restaurant and laughing all the way to the bank in a chauffer-driven limousine,” added Fenton, author of Eyeing the Flash: The Making of a Carnival Con Artist (Simon & Schuster, 2006). The New York Times called the book “A cross between Ferris Bueller and William S. Burroughs…A hilarious, twisted coming-of-age story.”
     Continued Fenton, “But Mitt Romney has employed an evangelist’s fiery fervor and a casket salesman’s charisma to convince millions of voters of that his plans to end Medicare and cut taxes for the rich is good news for middle-class Americans who desperately need the social safety net and aren’t rich. It is for the successful selling of this outlandish proposition that Mitt Romney stepped over Honey Boo-Boo to finish first in the 2012 Carnie Awards.
     “Mitt Romney is living proof that people today are just as gullible as they were back when housewives bought snake oil from fast-talking grifters while their husbands drooled at strippers in dimly-lit tents.”