Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Justin Bieber's "Believe" Spurs Threat to Throw Kittens off Golden Gate Bridge

Justin Bieber fans snapped up 370,000 copies of his new album Believe last week--sending it to Number One on the Billboard 200.

But Justin's eager acolytes may soon pay a heavy price for their rash decision. This morning, My Urban Fantasy received an email from an anti-Bieber activist group threatening a horrific action if Bieber-mania doesn't come to a complete halt.

Here are excerpts from the email, sent exclusively to this blog.

                             But first this word from today's sponsor:

                                     ONE BAD MOTHER
                                         By Sara L. Rose

                                $2.99 exclusively on Kindle

“Sara L. Rose has created a teen mom to die for. She’s the Amanda Hocking of thriller authors.”

Layla Philips is a teen mom from the wrong side of L.A.

She’s pudgy.

She’s vulgar.

And she just left her baby Kurt in a running car on a hot day while she dashes into a drug store to shoplift.

                                         Here are the email excerpts:

Dear Urban Fantasy:

It was with a heavy heart that we read the latest issue of Billboard magazine. The industry bible reported that 370,000 Americans purchased Justin Bieber's Believe. This despite the fact that the mop top's auto-tuned warblings make one wish that God had not invented hearing...

...Therefore, we are taking the following action:

Beginning at a time of our choice, we will be heaving one cute kitten off the Golden Gate Bridge for every additional copy of Believe that is sold...

Rest assured, we don't taken this action lightly. We love fuzzy kittens as much as anyone else. The idea of watching one little furball after another plummet hundreds of feet into the Pacific Ocean is appalling. But so is Justin Bieber's music--and at times sacrifices must be made to achieve a greater goal.

We are sacrificing kittens with the goal of stopping Bieber-mania for good.

Justin fans now face this stark fact:

Download Believe and you kill a kitten.



posted by My Urban Fantasy

No comments:

Post a Comment