Joel Osteen "Hoaxster" Revealed!

For Immediate Release:

                     

                        JOEL OSTEEN "HOAXSTER" REVEALED.


     The Christian world was stunned Sunday, April 7, when after weeks of rumors, television pastor Joel Osteen confirmed that he had abandoned the faith.
     Multiple sources, including a press release from Osteen's church, a reliable Christian blog and a YouTube video detailed Osteen's turmoil as he wrestled with the decision to go public with his revised view.
     An Osteen spokesman has since denied the claim, which has shifted media attention to uncovering the identity of the alleged "hoaxster."
     After hours of intense reporting--and more than a little luck--My Urban Fantasy was able to trace the individual to a Los Angeles email address.
     Here's the first excerpt from the ensuing world exclusive interview.

     MUF: First off, who are you and why did you engage in such an elaborate ruse?

     AT: I'll answer the second question first. Plainly and simply, it is--as far as I can tell--not a ruse.

     MUF: Expand on that, please.

     AT: Well, the Pastor first contacted me several months ago via email. He was aware of my status as a psychiatrist who had many celebrity patients and he had a heavy burden--in laymen's terms--to get off his chest. The result over a series of exchanges, was his professed loss of faith.

     MUF: And you are?

     AT: Abraham Tribesky, M.D., psychiatrist to deceased Hollywood stars. Many  such individuals carry their neuroses into the Afterlife. Via a delicate balance of talk therapy and psychic mediumship, I help them sort through issues that plague them even after death. Many of my most intriguing cases I've published in a book directed at a non-academic, popular audience. It's title is MICHAEL JACKSON IS BEING HARASSED IN HEAVEN.

     MUF: Back to Pastor Osteen. So this is not a hoax?

     AT: I believe that the pastor was being entirely truthful during his sessions with me.

     MUF: Why did you did you decide to go public with his professed loss of Christian faith? Isn't that a violation of the therapist/client relationship?

     Abraham Tribesky's answer will appear in excerpt #2. 
     Stay tuned!

   
   

   

Bloomberg to Declare Coffee Addictive, Shutter NYC Starbucks.

Breaking:

In a world exclusive, My Urban Fantasy has learned that Michael Bloomberg, mayor of New York*, is laying plans to declare coffee addictive and close Manhattan's approximately 200 Starbucks coffee cafes.

Said a spokesperson, who requested anonymity due to the sensitivity of the case, "Mayor Bloomberg has determined that caffeine, coffee's active ingredient, is a health hazard that the city can no longer tolerate. It's an addictive substance that controls the lives of millions of New York residents. Users awake groggy and cannot begin the day without a 'jolt' of this beverage, after which they become jittery and hyped up. Under the sway of caffeine, they descend onto our city's streets, subways and sidewalks, manifesting the aggression long identified with New Yorkers--but actually the result of coffee ingestion.

"Talking loudly, elbowing fellow citizens out of the way in order to get the last seat on public transportation and repetitive honking of vehicle horns are just a few of the negative results.
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"To make a long story short, coffee use has tarnished New York, creating the image of it as a chaotic maelstrom of aimless activity signifying nothing. Therefore, Mayor Bloomberg will be initiating an anti-caffeine campaign that will begin by closing all Starbucks. Independent coffee 'pushers' will be given thirty days to comply, after which caffeinated sodas and other sources will be banned.

"A force of at least 5,000 caffeine monitors will be hired, more than making up for the barista jobs that are lost."

*America's largest city, according to knowledgeable sources.

My Urban Fantasy