Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Shocked Gal Finds Lipstick on Boyfriend's--SOCKS!

           
     Dear My Urban Fantasy:

     Here's my personal fantasy nightmare:

     Every woman knows to look for lipstick on her man's collar. But lipstick on his socks? That’s the dilemma I face every time I do my man’s laundry. Yeah, he’s the man of the house and I take care of it. But that’s all right with me because he’s a good provider and we have two beautiful kids I love being here to watch grow.
     Until one day when I noticed a lipstick stain when I was sorting his socks, which is actually quite easy since he only wears white. How did I know it was lipstick? Well dear, the stain was lip-shaped, like some cortisone-injected Carmen Elektra look-alike had planted one on his big toe. It was Naughty Night by, I think, Revlon.
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     After regaining my composure, I shrugged it off. After all, a neighbor of mine once saw the face of Jesus on her boyfriend’s boxer shorts.
     But as the weeks went by, I spotted Raunchy Red, Satin Doll and various and sundry other hues. I had no alternative but to conclude that, indeed, some two-bit hussy was open-mouth kissing my guy’s socks and she had a fortune to blow on lip gloss.
     You may find this funny, but I’ve learned to live with it. I figure she can have him from his ankles on down as long as I get to keep the rest.

Anne in Minneapolis



                                 

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