Saturday, December 19, 2015

Inside $100 million plan to convince Adele to eat Oreos onstage.

     An in-depth My Urban Fantasy investigation has uncovered a secret plan to convince Adele to eat delicious Oreo cookies between songs on her upcoming world tour. In return for an astronomical $100 million payday.
     According to an unnamed insider, whose wish to remain anonymous we will respect as long as he/she doesn't reveal the debauched circumstances under which our interview took place, Adele's "people" have been approached by numerous corporations.

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"A cross between Ferris Bueller and William S. Burroughs...A hilarious and twisted coming-of-age story" --New York Times.

     Said the insider, "These companies want to place their products on stage or have Adele mention them by name. The theory is that Adele's adoring fans will snap up anything their idol endorses or stands beside when she sings a song.
    "For example, it's rumored that Apple wanted her to sing "Hello" over an i-Phone. And Carnival Cruise Line begged Adele to relax in a miniature cruise ship as she sing "Rollin' in the Deep."
     "These attempts to commercialize Adele's world tour were rejected immediately as crude and crass.
     "However, a member of our team came up with the idea for Adele to eat Oreos onstage. Oreos seem like a perfect fit. They're scrumptious. Don't  take up much space on stage. And Adele can toss a few into the crowd.
     "Our plan is to ask Oreos for $100 million to have their product placed on stage. Once that deal is sealed, we'll cut a deal with the milk industry.
     "Of course we'l have to run this all by Adele first. Unfortunately she's more into music than milk and cookies.
     "Maybe Taco Bell will be more up her alley. Being English, she may never had had really good nachos. I'd love to see Adele eating nachos during encores."
     Keep checking My Urban Fantasy for updates on this breaking news.

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